i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
