whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
