The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
