i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
