YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
