take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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