You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
