i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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