I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
