I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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