Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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