You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
