I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
