I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
