if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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