I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
