K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
as a side note pls kill me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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