You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
