the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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