if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
