he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
