You work out of a Hotel?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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