he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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