Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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