i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
