i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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