My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Come on in and take your pants off
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