i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
