i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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