a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Shame - the story of my life.
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