My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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