im having a threesome with these popsicles
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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