Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
