dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
