Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All the doctor said was why
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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