well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
