I think I am morally bankrupt
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
