we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
