oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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