And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
