The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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