end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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