My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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