if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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