I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
