You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
