where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
