i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
