i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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