Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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