Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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